Wednesday, December 16, 2009

What are you doing New Years? I'm getting married!

OK, OK, OK... I know I haven't posted FOREVER and now I am posting this! But obviously I've been way too busy to blog! I have no idea where to start, so I'll at the beginning...

This summer was kind of a hard summer. Hard in the since that I got off track. I was dating someone that I knew wasn't going to work, but yet I was trying to make it work. It's funny, but you know from the start if it's gong to work out or not. I needed to get my life back on track and I was disappointed in myself for losing focus. I was getting ready to start teaching institute, so I turned all my free time over to scripture study and my kids. I started seeing my counselor again (the one I saw after Rob's death) to make sure I was making wise choices. She is an unbias person I could talk to and someone to help me work through dating (yes I needed someone to help me so I didn't make the same mistake again). My friend Stephanie talked me into going online to a LDS dating site, just for the fun. She had met her husband online and gave me great advice. YES, I know I made fun of many people for going I am sorry! I went on many first dates and went through a lot of emails. I had come to the conclusion of two things. First, men lie about how tall they are online. I am 5'5, so how is it with heels I am taller than someone who is "5'10"? And second, I honestly thought there were no strong single LDS men out there. I am talking, guys who won't watch a rated R movie or go to the store on Sunday. I was beginning to believe I was going to have to lower my standards.

So, I get a flirt from some guy in Texas. Usually I don't even look at people who send flirts, but something about him caught my attention. Plus he was in Texas! We started emailing...So he tells me his work brings him out to Salt Lake and that he would be in town if we would like to go to lunch. It's funny, looking back now, I didn't even want to go to lunch. I was so sick of first dates and the awkwardness in meeting someone in person for the first time. AND he wanted to go to Olive Garden of all the places! (Sorry if you love Olive Garden, but it's honestly one of my least favorite places to eat) To make a long story longer... our lunch lasted three hours! The only reason why it ended, was he had to catch a flight back to Houston. Now the long phone conversations start! I love my sleep so I am guessing I must really like this guy to stay up late talking to him on the phone. I realized with him I didn't have to lower any of my expectations. He loves the gospel as much as I do and is truly devoted to it! He came back two weeks later, and we were able to go out a couple times. That's how we started dating, when he was able to come out to Salt Lake. (BTW he works for Huntsman and has an office up in Salt Lake) I was heading to Portland to speak and did not know he was planning on surprising me there. He emailed Jennifer to make sure he wasn't imposing on her and mine's time. I think she was excited to meet him and agreed. During this time, I was still meeting with the counselor, making sure I was taking this slow...

When I was in Portland speaking; Steve, Jennifer and I had about 5 hours in the car to talk. I knew this would make or break it. If he drove me nuts, than it would be over. (Yes I was driving the whole time. If he had been driving...this story would have ended differently!) On that trip, I just knew. I knew he was the one. Jennifer also knew. Her and I talked about it and it was a special moment for the both of us. I didn't want to go back to my counselor and tell her I had fallen head over heals for someone. I was trying to take it slow, but I could just feel Heavenly Father's hand in my life slowly (actually quickly) showing me the way.

Now that we both knew it was right, it was time to meet all the families. I was able to fly down to Houston for Steve's birthday and meet his parents (who were visiting from Boise where Steve grew up) and his two kids, Hannah 11 and Max 7. Steve then got to meet all my family over Thanksgiving and then the Epperson's the following week. I got to meet 4 of his 6 siblings over the Thanksgiving weekend here in Salt Lake. I can say all of my family (my family includes all the Eppersons too!) was very impressed with him. I mean, he has to be a great guy to want to marry someone with 5 children! Let's fast forward to dinner on December 7th. Steve was heading back to Houston the next morning and we started joking about getting married on New Year's Eve (come on who wouldn't want the tax write offs?) We had joked about this forever, but never really thought much about it. The more we talked about it, the more the idea appealed to us both! We made a few calls, talked with our Bishops (who both agreed sooner is much better than later) and finally on Monday 14th we had the green light. So basically I have thrown together a wedding in a very short time. We will be living apart till school is out, but the weekend visits will be much more fun!

I can't explain how I can love another person besides Rob. I know it's hard for other's to understand and I hope no one has to go through what I have to learn it is able to love again. I also didn't think there would be someone out there that could love me so much! Like I put in my Christmas letter; in the Oct 2008 General Conference, Elder Wirthlin talked about the Principle of Compensation. He said, "The Lord compensates the faithful for every loss. That which is taken away from those who love the Lord will be added unto them in His own way. While it may not come at the time we desire, the faithful will know that every tear today will eventually be returned a hundredfold with tears of rejoicing and gratitude." I remember hearing this statement and knew it had to be true, but I couldn't see how in my life. I am now seeing the full filling of this statement and can testify to the truthfulness. I am thankful for many people who have prayed for me. I know it won't be easy, but that with the Lord's help we can do all things!