4 days ago
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
As I looked at my husband lying in the hospital bed with IVs hooked up to him, the thought ran through my mind, I can't do this...again. Steve had a minor procedure done and he was lying in a hospital bed, and I was on the verge of panicking. In my mind I knew everything was going to be fine, there was very little risk. But what if.....what if something went wrong. What if he didn't come out and he was gone. What if they found something that would lead to more treatments and more hospital visits. WHAT IF?? Almost as soon as I started to panic, and warm feeling came over me and I thought, if the "what if" happened, I know I would be fine. Not because I had been a widow before, but because I knew the Lord would be by my side. I was able to get through everything with Rob, with the Lord's help. I could never of done it on my own. I had seen the Lord answer my prayers and bless my family in so many different ways that I knew He would be there again when I need Him. I knew this with every cell of my body. The Lord is there for you and for me. Sunday our lesson in Relief Society was on faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. We talked about how you build faith with the little things every day. Praying, reading the scriptures, and attending your church meetings. There are many little things we do everyday, with faith, believing in certain outcomes. For example; we have faith that if we run everyday that we are getting into better shape. We won't get into better shape by only running once a month. And when you first start running to get back onto shape, it takes awhile to see your efforts pay off. But it does happen after time. You do not get into shape just because you want to. It takes time and work. Same with faith. It takes time and work (studying the scriptures, prayer, keeping the commandments). I wouldn't have been able to have sufficient faith to go through my trials if I started praying the day we found out Rob had cancer. If I didn't already know that the Lord does answer prayers. I knew the comfort that came from having the habit of reading my scriptures. It does take a lot of work to have faith, but honestly having a great amount of faith makes the trials a lot easier. I have seen the Lord bless my life during the hardest time anyone could ever imagine. The spirit testified to me, as I looked at Steve in the hospital, everything would be fine with the Lord's help. I know this to be true. I have seen it in my life again and again.