Valentine's Day

I haven't gone back and read much of Caring Bridge. Once and awhile I will go back and read if I need something for a talk or trying to remember something specific. Mostly, it's hard for me to read the words that only happened one year ago. I am thankful that I have those memories written down. Just this morning I couldn't think of what I got the kids last year for Valentine's Day. I figured that life was busy and I probably didn't have time to get them anything. But as I read the Caring Bridge entry from last year, I remembered why. Last year's Valentine's Day was a lot harder on me than this year, which surprises me, because last year Rob was alive. I believe in my heart I must of known it would be our last Valentine's together. This year isn't as hard. I have had a year to understand and to grow. I have learned how to turn all my sorrow and pain over to the Lord. And I am looking forward to a fun night with my family tomorrow! Here's a picture from last Valentine's Day and my Caring Bridge entry.


Today was a bitter-sweet day, in more ways than just candy. Earlier today Rob, Craig, Betsy, Bowmans (Shane, Kerry & Loren) and I got to go to the temple today. This is one of the most sacred places we can go. In the temple you can feel the Spirit of the Lord so strong. I am grateful we were able to attend the temple and for those who also went to the temple by them, to support us. The comfort and peace we felt is priceless.
Yesterday I found myself unable to buy Valentine's stuff for the kids. I can't explain it, but I just didn't have the heart for it. In the past we spent Valentine's Day as a family. The boys would dress up in their Sunday Best (the only time dad let them wear ties before the age of 12) and take the "girls" Ellie & I out to dinner. Ellie and I would each get a dozen roses from the boys. We would then go out to a fancy dinner, with they boys learning how to treat girls! I knew we wouldn't be having our Valentine tradition tonight. Thank goodness so many people listened to the spirit and showered our family with Valentine love today!! We got flowers, cards, gift packages, so many wonderful things, my kids didn't even notice that mom was a little sad. I took the kids to Big Al's tonight, arcade/bowling, and let them get whatever they wanted for dinner. Jake had a pound of steamed clams! They all got special drinks and didn't even have to share! I then let them play all the video games they like, especially the ones we usually don't let them play. We all had a blast! On the way home, I was a little sad that Rob couldn't of been there with us. Robbie asked me what was wrong and I said, aren't you sad that dad couldn't come. Robbie and Jake were both like, yes, but if dad wasn't sick, the twins would of came or we wouldn't have gone to Big Al's at all. My little boys were teaching me a valuable lesson. They were looking at the positive of the situation. They weren't saying it in a snotty way, but were sincere with their answer. I will forever be grateful for that moment. My boys trying to comfort me and helping me understand that there are many blessings I am not seeing. They are such sweet, strong boys, who are taking on more than a boy their age should. I hope everyone felt loved today. Thank you once again, for everyone who reached out to us today. For listening and answering a mother's simple prayer so her children could have a loving day! Love Patti