Death, Taxes and Peeps

My best friend is high school was Amy. I pretty much lived at her house. Her mom (Penny)always had Pepsi on hand for me. When I went off to college, in another state, far, far away from home I got an Easter package from Penny. She remembered how much I love peeps! She saw them at the store and decided to send me some. And then the next year I got another package of peeps. And then the next year...For the past 15 years, at Easter I always knew I would get a package of peeps from Penny. My packages are now labeled to Patsy and her "peeps". When I saw the package on my front door yesterday, I knew pretty much who it was from! It's amazing how something so simple can mean so much to my family every year!

Happy 84th Birthday Shramps!

Grandpa Shramps turned 84 years old last week. In his words, there is nothing you can do about it so you might as well enjoy it! Shramps is Rob's Grandpa on his father's side. I think I could easily say that Rob is his favorite, considering Rob was the first grandchild. I always knew Rob and his Grandpa were close. When Rob and I first were married, Rob had gone on a golfing trip with my dad and brother. While he was gone, Shramps was admitted into the hospital, for I believe heart issues. Rob and I had only been married maybe six months and I found myself up at the hospital with his family, not sure what was going to happen. We waited to call Rob and tell him till he was on his way home. I remember how upset he was. Rob told me he could never imagine his life without his Grandpa. We decided then that we should start our family, because Rob wanted our kids to know their great grandpa and love him as much as he does. Well sure enough, Robbie came along, Robert John Epperson, which is Grandpa's exact name. I believed we were doing John for my dad, and had not realized that it was for both! Our boys have spend many summers with their great grandparents and have gotten to know each other, just as Rob wanted.

Trying to get all the kids in the picture was a little hard!

We got these cakes from Dough Boys and Flower Girls. Oh my goodness they

were wonderful. We couldn't even finish them all gone!

Crazy Weekend

This weekend I went to Portland to see Wicked with my friends. It was actually a lot easier to get tickets there than here in Salt Lake. We had a wonderful time! Here's Jennifer and I standing next to the poster. I couldn't help but notice who was standing by the good witch and who was standing by the wicked witch! I need to thank Kristen for getting us the tickets. Without her none if this would of been possible AND we wouldn't of had such wonderful seats!!

So when everyone asks me how my weekend went, well that is hard to answer. Last Monday night Ellie was up all night with the flu. I secretly hoping it was food poisoning, but in my heart knew that wasn't the case. By Tuesday night Johnjohn started throwing up. Luckily, it was a 24 hour flu, so I knew things would be over quick. I was leaving Thursday and didn't want to miss Wicked due to the stomach flu. I was cleaning the house and hoping to keep it contained. When I picked Jessica (one of my old Young Women from my Battle Ground Ward) up I warned her at what was ahead. Sure enough, Johnjohn wasn't done with the flu and was sick Wednesday night. I left Thursday morning with a prayer in my heart that Jessica and the kids would be fine. Friday, both Johnjohn and Luke were sick. Throwing up on Jessica and in their beds. Jessica did say that Luke got good at throwing up into a bowl. Thank goodness for great friends and a ward. Jennifer the Saint, came over and helped her clean up and dinner was delivered for them. My Home Teachers came over and gave Jessica and the kids a blessing. Saturday morning, I was talking to Robbie on Facebook and he said he wasn't feeling so well. Soon, Robbie and Jessica were both sick. Jennifer came and got the twins and Ellie went off with a friend for the day. Jake didn't want to leave Robbie a lone. I felt so horrible not being there for them. I felt horrible for poor Jessica having to be in this situation. But I knew they were being watched over by many wonderful people here and I didn't need to worry. Honestly, how come it happens when I am gone? Can't say it wasn't nice missing being thrown up on, but still that is just not something Jessica should have to deal with. I always knew she was amazing, and now I think even more of her, as if that was possible!!

Conversation with Robbie

Robbie is twelve. For those of you who don't have a twelve year old, be thankful. If you are going to have one, one of these days, I am so sorry. Robbie and I have been going through a difficult time, figuring out life, what, what not, ect. I really hope he doesn't hate me and I do know he thinks I am rather annoying. I love him so much. He can be a lot of fun, when he isn't rolling his eyes at me. If Robbie is hard, I don't even want to think about Ellie at twelve....

So Sunday we are coming home from church and Robbie says to me, "We had a weird lesson at church." First I am speechless. I usually have to ask twenty questions to find out maybe what there lesson might have been on. Plus Robbie doesn't really volunteer any information, so the fact that he was saying this got me a little nervous. Instantly, I started thinking what off the wall thing was taught in class. Am I going to have to call someone and get false doctrine corrected? So I ask Robbie, "What was your lesson on?" He then tells me it was about finding a good wife. I was like what? What did they say? He said that you wanted to find a wife that would be a good mother and would raise your children in the gospel. I was pretty impressed with his recollection of the lesson. I asked him if that sounded good to him. He shrugged his shoulders. Then I asked him how did dad do at finding a wife. He looked straited into my eyes and then did the biggest eye roll ever.

March Madness

Let me first say, about 90% of you will not get this post. I was explaining it to Jeni this morning and she said this where we differ. This morning I was watching Mike and Mike (if you don't know what that is, you can skip the post). All of the sudden I realized I am flying to Portland on the most important teleivison day in the world. I have never not been infront of a TV on this Thursday in my adult life. It is the most exciting day EVER! It's the first day of March Madness. The first day full of college basketball games. The day if filled with upsets, close games, and buzzer beaters. The TV is taking you from one game to the next, with only a little pause at dinner time. I have been filling out brackets for as long as I could remember. My dad would always take the centerfold out of Sports Illustrated and write in his picks, then high light the ones he got right and cross out the misses. I guess he raised his daughter to love the best and most exciting play off system in all of sports. Thursday will start with 64 teams/hopefuls and by Sunday there will only be 16 left standing. Rob would tease me about my picks, saying is that what Dan Patrick told you to put or is that what Rome said? I do my homework all week and take my brackets very seriously. This is why I can't believe I am going to Portland on Thursday and will have to hear from others about the close games and see the last second shots on Sports Center. How could I make such a rookie mistake. Never plan trips in the middle of March or at least plan on being in front of a TV on Thursday. I know it will be a great trip and I'm excited, let's just hope I have good picks this year to make up for missing Thursday!

Oh Where oh where has our Patti gone?

No I have not dropped off the face of the earth. No I haven't gone into a deep depression after the year anniversary of Rob's death. Let me try to sum up what I have been doing.

Sick, preparing for speaking engagement, sick, speaking engagement, sick, switch monkeys to beds, sick, dinner for Rob, sick, spend time with brother and family, sick, see Bennett and Ross families, sick, teach lesson, sick, finally see doctor and get medicine.

I realized that I had done nothing the whole week, when I went to get the monkeys dressed for church and realized their church pants were still in the dirty clothes. This meant I had gone the whole week without doing laundry. So this last week I spent the week catching up on life from the previous week. I haven't been on the computer much and have barely check my emails. I am finally feeling better, running five miles on Friday. Now I am afraid that I gave Jeni my sickness and hope she gets feeling better soon. I just wanted to quickly let everyone know that I am alive and doing well.

I found some old pictures on a camera from Jake's first grade Christmas party. I can't believe how little Jake and Ellie look in these pictures.

Crazy Hair Day for Jake and Ellie. Jake was mad the next day because I wouldn't put his hair into a Mohawk again! I don't think this picture truly shows how "high" Jake's hair really was. Robbie is too cool for crazy hair day.

Different Kind of Service

Jeni asked me months ago if I would speak at her Relief Society's Birthday dinner. Of course I agreed! When I finally wrote the date down on the calendar I was a little taken back, because it was on Wednesday March 4th. I had already committed, so I knew I would have to just make it work. I didn't know what I would be feeling this week, therefore I was a little nervous. But as the date drew closer and as I started preparing my talk, I realized the timing couldn't be more perfect. Instead of focusing on this date and feeling sorry for myself, I was thinking of the wonderful Riverton Ward. I was thinking about their needs and living in such a way to have the spirit with me. And we all know that if you have the spirit with you, you are a little happier. Not that I don't miss Rob, I just could handle this week as I focused on what the sisters in Jeni's ward needed to hear and as I served others. Service is one of the greatest things we can do, to help get us through difficult times. I haven't been able to serve in the typical ways; watching children and making meals. But I hope I am serving others by helping them build their testimonies and understanding the importance of the scriptures and our Savior. Every time I speak, the spirit testifies to me again and again that what I am teaching is true and I strengthen even more. I often feel like I get more out of speaking than the audience. I am so grateful for the different opportunities I am blessed with to share my testimony!

Dates

Yes, I am coming up on a big "date" this week. Those close to me, know the date, and have been cautiously watching me. I haven't really wanted to make anything big of this date, but the more I try to ignore it, the more I sense its presence. There have been a lot of first "dates" this year; our first Christmas without Rob, first birthdays, and major church/family events. As I think back on all of these, I guess the hardest one for me was our anniversary. No one really knows your anniversary but you and your spouse. No one else has any reason to celebrate the day, but the both of you. For me that date was the hardest thus far. As I said before I have been ignoring the coming date of Rob's death. Why would I want to remember or recount one of the hardest weeks of my life? Why would I want to think about the Fast Sunday one year ago, when I was fasting to know what our future held? The Monday I took Rob to the hospital to get a full body scan to see the extent of how the cancer spread? That he got sick in the car on the way to the hospital and thank goodness Jennifer and Brian were following behind us for help. How much pain Rob was in, yet went on all these appointments for me. How on Tuesday a loving Bishop came to my home and counseled me that Rob was going to die soon. And how I got so mad at him and accused him of asking me to give up and fight for my husband's life. Why would I want to remember that Wednesday morning when Rob wouldn't wake up and I had to make the call to his family and tell them to come as soon as possible?

This is why I want to remember all those days. On Fast Sunday, Sandy Ririe got to come and help Sheri with the twins and Rob. She is someone who loves Rob and wanted to serve him and hadn't had a chance. She was so grateful for the time she had with him. Jenni Anderson bore a beautiful testimony in Relief Society that reminded me that I could find the answer to my fast in the scriptures. Monday, what wonderful friends I have to follow and help me out when I took Rob to all his appointments. Even Jennifer's parents were in town and were so helpful to us. Our friends helped more than anyone could ever imagine. Having my brother and mother come on Monday to be there during my hardest time. My brother who gave insight and support that only he could have given. He was a rock for our family that week. A Bishop who came over and gave the correct counsel in a difficult situation. Wednesday, Rob's Doctor cancelled all her appointments and came strait over to our home to be with us. Robbie had just happened to stay home that day from school. Dr. Liss spent probably an hour speaking with Robbie and answering all his questions that none of us could answer. She saved one life that day, my Robbie who felt peace and understanding in such a difficult time from her answers. I had Jennifer wake up that morning, not knowing what was going on, but knew she needed to be at my home. She came and spent the day caring for the twins and cleaning my home. Heather, who is not a member, also felt the need to come to my home that day wondering how she could help our family. All of Rob's friends were able to come and say good bye. How grateful that all of Rob's family could get to our home to be with him during his last hours. So many blessing in this last week, one year ago. When we think of that week, I would love all to see the tender mercies of the Lord. To see all the wonderful blessings in my family's lives. To see that the Lord does not leave us in our time of need. He is always there, by our sides helping us through our trials. We can either see the Lord's hand in our lives or we can ignore the amazing blessings He continually blesses us with.